@Guerrilla Futures | Jason Tester via flickr
The school where I learned how to coach has a cornerstone: people are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. What it means is that people can handle it: they’re tough, they’re thick-skinned, they’re resilient.
When you’re the nurturing type like me, this is a hard thing to come to terms with. But to be a good coach, you have to trust in your client’s ability to take what you dish out…and what you dish out may be hard for them to hear. Which is why it’s so important for the coach to hold a space of love, respect, and sacredness for the sake of the client.
But this cornerstone isn’t just for coaching. I’ve seen (and lived) the inner turmoil of neglecting oneself in the futile attempt to take care of someone else: you don’t want them to get mad, you don’t want to rock the boat, you don’t want to complicate things, you don’t want to handle what follows.
Genuine relationships require vulnerability, and to be vulnerable you need to bring your true self to the relationship: thoughts, feelings, opinions, insights, everything. Holding back may defuse your feelings of anxiety…for a time. But after a while you begin to resent yourself (and the mistaken object of your resentment).
Be you. They can handle it, seriously. Be bold and audacious, and be love. You owe it to them.